Usually, for Ben’s birthday in June we bring lunch for his friends in the park. This year his birthday was four days before his sister’s wedding, so we put him off until July and we took great pains to tell him that it wasn’t a birthday party, it was just a gathering of friends. We did a hot dog bar, and we all seemed to enjoy ourselves, but when cupcakes rolled around (already a major concession on Ben’s part, because he wanted a full-on birthday cake), he began to weep. We were trying to avoid the gifts and hoopla that come with a birthday, but if Ben were appointed a post in government, it would be Chief Hoopla Officer. I saw the tears, told Phil to read the room, and we all sang “Happy Birthday”. The world righted itself. If you have friends, a hot dog bar in the park, and a song, you’ve got everything you need.
