My mother grew up as the youngest of ten children in an Old Order Amish household. Though my maternal grandparents lived well into their nineties, I, being nearly the youngest of my zillion first cousins, and living a distance away, never developed a very close relationship with my grandparents, and mostly know them through my mom’s stories.
What must be the most obscure of these stories not only took hold with me, but is still used as a rallying cry in our household. My grandfather hated being late. When you live on a farm, and your whole work force is sleeping upstairs, it’s important to get things moving as soon as possible in the morning. Even worse than oversleeping on a normal work day, however, was dilly-dallying on a Sunday when there was church. My grandfather was known to set clocks far ahead (which, in my experience, works exactly once) but when that failed, he resorted to shame. Though their Amish neighbors, the Clark Mast family, didn’t have electricity either, sometimes their windows glowed in the early morning hours with light from their kerosene lamps, before my grandparents’ household was up and running. My grandpa would broadcast this news upstairs with a shout, “Clark Mast! Wide Open!” I don’t know if the message, surely delivered in German, had the intended effect of shocking his children into action, so as not to be shown up by the neighbors, but I have adapted it for use around our house, into a phrase whose meaning is marvelously versatile, but generally translates into, “I need immediate action from you!”
Slept through the alarm, and your family’s about to miss their flight? “Clark Mast! Wide Open!” A child with a stomach bug doesn’t make it to the bathroom on time? “Clark Mast! Wide Open!” Carrying a 500º cast iron pan, and your oblivious spouse is blocking your path to putting it down? “Clark Mast! Wide Open!” Arrive home from your first vacation in years to find that your school district has gone mask optional? “Clark Mast! Wide Open!”
You may have noticed that we didn’t make a post last Wednesday, and that is because Phil and I were taking a much needed vacation. We went to the Florida Keys, rented a convertible, and spent a week being warm, eating good food, and doing virtually nothing. It was glorious.
Though I knew that unmasking would eventually happen, I was, somehow, shocked when I caught up on email and realized I might see my kids’ faces for the first time ever, and they’d see mine! Clark Mast! Wide Open! I wasn’t sure that I was ready, but if I can believe in science and statistics for the bad stuff, it works for the good stuff, too, right? (One student told me that I was not at all what she pictured. I said, “Are you disappointed?” Looooooonnnnnnngggggg pause. “Um…. No?”)
Ben stayed at home with Sophia and his regular caregivers, but we were all pretty happy to be reunited. Ben declared that we should have salmon, and so we continued with the Florida vibe for another day and made salmon, pineapple rice, and a version of Key lime pie.
We loosely used the following recipes:
Rice
https://www.littlebroken.com/pineapple-rice/
Salmon
Key Lime Pie (we used regular limes)
https://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/key-lime-pie-recipe1-2011840
Our vacation was fantastic. Our meal, upon returning, was wonderful, too. My adjustment to sharing air with students and colleagues? Clark Mast, Wide Open! I guess?