Hot Dogs – Can we be frank?

Hot dogs have always been a favorite of Ben’s, as the following two stories illustrate. The first is a cautionary tale, so skip a few paragraphs if you have a weak stomach. 

When Ben was about eight, he had just started playing Little League Challenger Baseball, and we were at a team picnic held in a public park to celebrate the end of the season. After polishing off his second plate of food, he took his paper plate to throw away. The trash can was one of those open barrels. You know the sort. On top of the heap of garbage, surrounded by swarming flies, was a half-eaten hot dog that somebody had discarded. I was some distance away, but in a flash of maternal clarity, I knew how the next ten seconds would unfold. If you are a Seinfeld fan and remember George and the eclair, you know, too. I moved like the wind, but by the time I had gotten to him, Ben had already scooped the hot dog out of the trash can and had shoved it into his mouth, giggling maniacally. When I arrived at the scene of the crime, I tried to fish the hot dog out of his mouth with my finger, and was bitten for my efforts. I was apoplectic. Gagging, I told Phil what had happened and implored him to do something. He calmly turned to Ben and said, “Hey, buddy, the trash can is for deposits, not withdrawals.”

Though I had to give myself a time out in the car that day because I was not fit to be around others for awhile, Ben suffered no ill effects. Probably, Ben’s big lesson for the day was “Mom is crazy,” but my take-away (after enough time had passed) was gratitude that I had married a man with a sense of humor. It saves me again and again and again, even when garbage can hot dogs are involved.

The second story involving Ben’s love of hot dogs is far more palatable. Ben loves parties, particularly if he is hosting. His birthday is June 17th, and he usually begins planning the next birthday party June 18th. The guest list is always eclectic, including everyone from Clifford the Big Red Dog (who, being a fictional character, never shows) to college presidents. As somebody once pointed out to me, his inner circle is huge.

For his 16th birthday, Ben requested a hot dog bar with 16 different toppings, complete with suggested combinations. These included the Philly cheese steak dog (Cheez Whiz + grilled peppers + grilled onions), the Southwest dog (guacamole + jalapeños + cheddar), the Bahn Mi dog (pickled carrots + cilantro + jalapeño), and the Ben dog (bacon + onions + guacamole + cheddar). Ben actually loved every topping we offered, so it was hard work for him to narrow it down, leading to his consuming an outrageous number of hot dogs that evening. Since I could certify that none of the hot dogs served had spent any time in a public refuse receptacle, I let him eat his fill, and as before, there were no ill effects. In fact, he felt so triumphant about the party’s success, that he began lobbying to have a duck bar for his 17th birthday. (Request denied.)

We enjoyed our hot dogs tonight for Ben’s Day Wednesday, but we limited our toppings to ketchup and mustard. 

Though we may be declared unAmerican for the following disclosure, our family really isn’t into baked beans. Tonight we made cider-braised lentils as an alternative to go with our hot dogs. The recipe was inspired by Christopher Kimball’s recipe in Milk Street Tuesday Nights, but we have made it our own based on what we like and what is available.

Cider-Braised Lentils with Apple and Radish Pickles

4 tablespoons butter, divided

4 large shallots, sliced into thin rings, layers separated

2 medium garlic cloves, minced

2 sprigs fresh thyme, plus 2 teaspoons chopped fresh thyme

1 cup apple cider

1 tablespoon plus 2 teaspoons whole-grain mustard

Salt and pepper

1 1/2 cups Spanish pardina lentils (do not use regular brown lentils)

3 tablespoons cider vinegar, divided

4 medium radishes, thinly sliced

1 apple, cored and cut into 1/2 inch squares

5 ounces fresh goat cheese, cubed (we like a honey-infused variety)

1. In a large saucepan, over medium-high, melt 3 tablespoons of the butter, about 2 minutes. Add 3/4 of the shallots and cook, stirring until lightly browned, about 5 minutes. Stir in the garlic and thyme sprigs, then cook until fragrant, 30 to 60 seconds.
2. Stir in the cider, mustard, 1 teaspoon salt and 3/4 teaspoons pepper. Bring to a boil over high and cook, stirring occasionally, until the cider has almost completely reduced, about 6 minutes. Add 3 1/2 cups water and the lentils, then bring to a simmer. Reduce to low, cover and cook, stirring occasionally, until the lentils are tender, about 40 minutes. 
3. Meanwhile, in a small bowl, combine 2 tablespoons of the vinegar and 1/2 teaspoon salt and stir until the salt dissolves. Add the radishes, apple, and the remaining shallots. Toss to combine and set aside.
4. Taste the lentils and season with salt and pepper, if necessary. Remove and discard the thyme sprigs, then stir in remaining 1 tablespoon butter, the chopped thyme and the remaining 1 tablespoon cider vinegar. Top with apple-radish mixture and goat cheese on top.