Since we moved Sophia to Virginia last summer, Ben has been obsessed with U-Hauls, or “New-Hauls,” as he calls them. He has asked about the plans for moving her from Virginia back to Pennsylvania approximately one million, four hundred twenty-eight thousand, five hundred sixty-two times over the course of the summer. I feel like I answer him. Every. Single. Time. And still? He asks. That’s just part of the Ben package. Time for some fresh answers.
Well, yeah, we’re taking a New-Haul, but we’re all pitching in, so it’s a Crew-Haul.
If everything actually fits, it’s a Phew!-Haul.
If we injure ourselves loading, it’s a BooBoo-Haul.
Are we moving Imelda Marcos? That’s a Shoe-Haul!
If we don’t agree on the best loading method, it’s an Argue-Haul.
If we get sick from all the stop-start traffic around D.C., it’s a Spew-Haul.
Sophie’s feeling a little sad to leave the friends she made, so it’s a Blue-Haul.
Shaggy is driving and tossing snacks to his wing man. Must be Scooby Doo-Haul.
Can’t make out the fine print on that rental agreement? It’s a Mr. Magoo-Haul.
If we regress into second grade banter while driving, it’s an “I am rubber. You are glue. Bounce off me and stick to you”-Haul.
If we’re talkin’ ‘bout my generation, it’s The Who-Haul.
If it has a butler with a candlestick in a conservatory, it might be a Clue-Haul.
Shakespeare would say it’s a Much Ado-Haul.
If we fret too much, it’s a Stew-Haul.
If we coughed in it a hundred years ago, it’d be the Spanish Flu-Haul.
If we throw in a cow, it’s a Moo-Haul.
If one isn’t enough, it’s a Two-Haul.
If we turn it into an Indian food truck, it would be a Chicken Vindaloo-Haul.
If we get busted taking everything on Christmas Eve, it’s a Cindy Lou Who-Haul.
If we consult a moving expert, it’s a Guru-Haul.
If we eat while we drive, it’s a Chew-Haul.
Our circuitous route to avoid D.C. traffic makes it a Timbuktu-Haul.
If we just keep going north, it could be a Caribou-Haul.
We can pretend that we didn’t know this game is annoying, and call it a Who-Knew?-Haul.
If you made it through this much of the post, then you should be rewarded with the knowledge that Saturday we completed the 3-day move, and Sophia is now settling into her new place in Mansfield.
