Pair and Ink

Wait. What? That makes no sense! If you don’t speak Benglish, you will need this quick tutorial. Hand washing before eating is a basic principle that we still have to monitor and enforce. Once, when Ben had been doing an artject (art project) at school, and I was making him scrub up before dinner, I realized that my Lady Macbeth “out damned spot” routine was not working against the Sharpie marks on his hands. I let him off the hook, but minutes later, Phil saw his hands (checks and balances, people) and sent him back to the sink. I told Phil that it was ok because it was permanent ink, which Ben heard as “pair and ink,” a hygiene get-out-of-jail free card. This single incident ten years ago gave him hope that he could reject any of our requests with, “Sorry, pair and ink.” If he spent a fraction of the time maintaining general cleanliness as he does evading it… well, he’d be spotless, and I’d have more brain cells left.

This week, we made taco pizza, which was not only delicious, but provided several opportunities for instruction in hygiene, safety, and social norms. We began with our customary:

“Ben, wash your hands.”

“Sorry, pair and ink!”

“Nice try.”

(Heading to the sink) “Darn it.”