Wing Man

I will likely regret my decision. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon, and for the rest of my life.

Our cooking plan for the day after Easter was simple – a ham and broccoli casserole to capitalize on the leftover Easter ham – but the day was so very lovely that I couldn’t stand the thought of coming in from an afternoon walk to be stuck in the kitchen, especially after having cooked a great deal the day before. When I told Ben that I thought we should switch to a plan of hot wings on the grill, he looked at me, incredulous, “I can’t believe it! Finally!” He has been waiting for wings at home for most of his life. There are certain things (like wings) that we never make at home because it’s a door we have not wanted to open, but today, I threw caution to the wind. I understand that now that he knows that home wings are possible, they will be requested every day. Saying “no” is one thing, but squashing your kid’s dreams daily is kind of a full time job.

Oh, the spring in his step when we went to Wegmans! We ended up sizzling some delicious shishito peppers (another impulse move) in olive oil for an appetizer. We plunged forward with our planned seven layer salad, and prepped celery sticks and ranch dressing (from scratch!) to accompany our grilled wings. 

Grilled Buffalo Wings

15 chicken wings

1 tablespoon salt

1 teaspoon pepper

1 teaspoon garlic powder

3/4 bottle Sweet Baby Ray’s Buffalo Wing Sauce

1/4 bottle Sweet Baby Ray’s BBQ sauce

Heat grill to medium. While grill is heating, combine salt, pepper, and garlic powder. Toss wings in salt mixture. Grill wings over medium heat for about 20 minutes, flipping every 5 minutes. Place sauce into large bowl. If using multiple sauces, use different bowls for each sauce. Place wings from grill directly into bowl and toss with sauce immediately. When wings are good and sauced, put them back on the grill for a minute or two, to caramelize sauce. Serve with celery and ranch dressing.

Ranch/Bleu Cheese Dressing

1 cup mayonnaise

3/4 cup buttermilk

1/2 teaspoon dried parsley

1 garlic clove, minced

1 teaspoon sugar

1 teaspoon white vinegar

Salt and pepper to taste

Bleu cheese crumbles (optional)

Combine all ingredients. Serve alongside celery, to accompany wings. If you are a bleu cheese person, add bleu cheese crumbles into dressing. If not, leave it as is, and cast aspersions on those who opt for bleu cheese.

Seven Layer Salad

1 romaine lettuce heart, chopped

4 hard boiled eggs, sliced

1/2 pound frozen petite peas

1/2 pound bacon, cooked and crumbled

1 to 2 cups finely grated mild cheddar cheese

1 cup mayonnaise

2 teaspoons sugar

Place lettuce in the bottom of a glass bowl. Next, distribute egg slices, followed by peas, bacon, and cheese. Combine mayonnaise and sugar, and spread on top of salad. Cover and refrigerate for a few hours or up to a day or two before serving.

If you are a mathematician, or a stickler, or an ordinary person who depends upon one plus one equalling two, you will be dismayed by our seven layer salad’s six layers. We don’t have an explanation. We just suggest that you learn to live with inconsistency and ambiguity. 

When he was but a wee lad, we taught Ben sign language (and by “we” I mean that Phil fell asleep in a corner while Ben and I absorbed what the sign teacher taught – Phil refers to these times as the “tired years”.) At his peak, Ben knew a good 200 signs or so, and he used sign exactly as we hoped, as a means to express himself before he had the verbal ability to do so. His first complete sign sentence was “I want more goldfish crackers, please.” It wasn’t long before Ben started making signs of his own, attempting to pair them with sounds, until he could make his meaning clear. One of his early “homemade” signs was wiggling his fingers upward to indicate the sticky, sauce-laden fingers that occur when one eats wings. The more specific interpretation of this sign is, “Let’s go to the Crippled Bear for some wings!” Almost all other signs he knew have fallen by the wayside as he learned to verbalize what he wanted. In fact, maybe “wings” is the only one that remains. Party on, Wing Man. Party on.